In Which Soaring Soprano Must Learn...

...to focus on happy thoughts.

I've been having a killer day at work today. A job went missing that had been sent to us about a month ago, and we can find neither hide nor hair of it. The disturbing bit is that we have no record of it ever coming in, but it's a bit of a puzzle because when it was given to us, the temporary secretary was working... and he had a very bad habit of not putting things into the computer system. So then, the person it belongs to called up, all frustrated and because I'm the secretary I had to deal with him on the phone, not once, but three times. Each time he felt it necessary to rant and rave, which only made my coffee deprivation headache worse.

Then, I got into an argument with my boss about the whole situation, and I consequently simmered for the rest of the afternoon, giving him the cold shoulder, and silently ranting in my head, until 2:45 rolled around and it was time for me to eat my first meal of the day.

While I prepared my lunch, I had an opportunity to calm down a bit and reflect. At first I reflected on yesterday, comparing yesterday's wonderful day to today's bitter and aggravating day.

"Why can't today be a nice day, too?" I fumed to myself, disgruntled, hungry, and wanting caffeine very badly.

As I thought, though, I realised that I was only making today worse by staying upset about all the stressful things that were going on. And I also realised something that I'm not sure I'll be able to articulate properly, but I'll try.

Everyday, twice a day, in my morning and evening prayers, I offer all of my joys and sorrows up to the Blessed Mother. I lay them at her feet, trusting that she will turn them into something presentable enough to offer to her Son.

Now, perhaps my next thought will come as no surprise to many people, but honestly I've been negligent about this, so it was a nice refreshing thought for me. What I realised was that I needed to remember to offer things up as they happen, rather than just doing a mass deposit of the day's pleasures and troubles at one shot. We offer our joys and sorrows in the morning in anticipation of the day's coming events, gaining fortitude to face them well. At the end of the day, we offer our treasures and tribulations in thanksgiving for our blessings and for the protection we received. But I need to offer my trials and triumphs up throughout the day, to remind myself that everything comes from God and that I need His help in all things, for without Him I am nothing.

So, I took a deep breath and did just that, and you know what? I immediately felt better. Not only did I feel better, but I was also reminded that our joys from days past are also helps to get through the troubles of today. And so, I thought back to the happy things from yesterday- the lucky finds at the book sale that made me so excited, my happiness with the progress I had made on my novel, the relief of having had a good pick-up rehearsal, and the unexpected phone call from a dear friend that made the rest of my day seem like a beam of sunshine- and I felt even better.

And I realise now that I have happy things to look forward to this evening. My brother is coming to my show tonight to film, I'm singing songs I love, bringing joy to other people, and I'll get to work more on my novel when I get home.

It seems my day is a pleasant one after all, and Deo gratias for both the blessings and the crosses!