In Which Soaring Soprano Must Learn...

...to focus on happy thoughts.

I've been having a killer day at work today. A job went missing that had been sent to us about a month ago, and we can find neither hide nor hair of it. The disturbing bit is that we have no record of it ever coming in, but it's a bit of a puzzle because when it was given to us, the temporary secretary was working... and he had a very bad habit of not putting things into the computer system. So then, the person it belongs to called up, all frustrated and because I'm the secretary I had to deal with him on the phone, not once, but three times. Each time he felt it necessary to rant and rave, which only made my coffee deprivation headache worse.

Then, I got into an argument with my boss about the whole situation, and I consequently simmered for the rest of the afternoon, giving him the cold shoulder, and silently ranting in my head, until 2:45 rolled around and it was time for me to eat my first meal of the day.

While I prepared my lunch, I had an opportunity to calm down a bit and reflect. At first I reflected on yesterday, comparing yesterday's wonderful day to today's bitter and aggravating day.

"Why can't today be a nice day, too?" I fumed to myself, disgruntled, hungry, and wanting caffeine very badly.

As I thought, though, I realised that I was only making today worse by staying upset about all the stressful things that were going on. And I also realised something that I'm not sure I'll be able to articulate properly, but I'll try.

Everyday, twice a day, in my morning and evening prayers, I offer all of my joys and sorrows up to the Blessed Mother. I lay them at her feet, trusting that she will turn them into something presentable enough to offer to her Son.

Now, perhaps my next thought will come as no surprise to many people, but honestly I've been negligent about this, so it was a nice refreshing thought for me. What I realised was that I needed to remember to offer things up as they happen, rather than just doing a mass deposit of the day's pleasures and troubles at one shot. We offer our joys and sorrows in the morning in anticipation of the day's coming events, gaining fortitude to face them well. At the end of the day, we offer our treasures and tribulations in thanksgiving for our blessings and for the protection we received. But I need to offer my trials and triumphs up throughout the day, to remind myself that everything comes from God and that I need His help in all things, for without Him I am nothing.

So, I took a deep breath and did just that, and you know what? I immediately felt better. Not only did I feel better, but I was also reminded that our joys from days past are also helps to get through the troubles of today. And so, I thought back to the happy things from yesterday- the lucky finds at the book sale that made me so excited, my happiness with the progress I had made on my novel, the relief of having had a good pick-up rehearsal, and the unexpected phone call from a dear friend that made the rest of my day seem like a beam of sunshine- and I felt even better.

And I realise now that I have happy things to look forward to this evening. My brother is coming to my show tonight to film, I'm singing songs I love, bringing joy to other people, and I'll get to work more on my novel when I get home.

It seems my day is a pleasant one after all, and Deo gratias for both the blessings and the crosses!

In Which Soaring Soprano Must Avoid...

...libraries.

Yes, you read that correctly. I must avoid libraries. It seems that they are just as dangerous, if not more so, than bookstores.

It began innocently enough; I was on a routine trip to the library to return a book I had recently borrowed.

[It was Fathers and Sons by Ivan Turgenev, for those who may be curious. Turgenev is my first excursion into the world of Russian literature, to be honest, and I quite liked it, although I fear I must brush up on my Russian history if I'm going to really understand the genre and its characters.]

Anyway, I was walking down the busy street towards the library, my book tucked under my arm, enjoying the warm weather and admiring the architecture of St. Stephen's Episcopal Cathedral as I strolled by (it's really a shame that the Protestant churches in my area have some of the nicer architecture). My thoughts were a million miles away, busy comparing and contrasting Arkady's and Bazarov's personalities, contemplating each character's philosophy and final outcome in the story...

And then, my hitherto wandering gaze alighted upon a curious sight-- a tent was set up on the library lawn, and on tables beneath the white canopy were boxes and boxes of books. My heart leapt for joy at the banquet placed before it, for, indeed, the library was having their annual book sale!

In some greatly ignored part of my brain, a little voice tremulously hazarded a reminder that I mustn't fill the new bookshelves too quickly.

"Tut, tut," said the bigger, stronger, more willful side of me. "We'll only take a look. Where's the harm in that?"

The little voice didn't have the courage to even whisper an answer after such a firm rebuke.

So, I quickly returned Turgenev to his place in the library proper, and then I practically skipped outside to peruse the offerings beneath the tent.

Now, please don't pass judgement on me when I confess that I made a beeline directly for the table of books marked 'Science Fiction.' There is a part of me that hasn't yet grown up, and never will if I can help it, and this part loves reading science fiction. To be exact, this perpetually youthful side of my persona will devour anything Star Wars and so my eyes scanned the numerous titles, looking for any book bearing that distinctive gold-lettered logo.

I was in luck this time, because amidst the stacks of Tolkien-wanna-be's and novels bearing paintings of dragon-riding witches and wizards (all of whom, curiously, have red hair or long grey beards) I found six Star Wars paperbacks. Three of the six were even in mint condition, price stickers on the back cover and all! Luckily, they were all titles I didn't have yet in my home library, and five were novels that I had been looking for specifically for quite some time (Timothy Zahn's Thrawn Trilogy and the 2nd & 3rd installments of Kevin J. Anderson's Jedi Academy Trilogy).

My child-like side happily satiated, I turned then to the table labeled 'Classics and Philosophy,' and to my delight , I came across two beautifully bound, old, hardcover books. The first was Rostand's hysterical Cyrano de Bergerac and the second, which is an even greater find, was C. S. Forrester's Commodore Hornblower. Both are in fantastic condition, and will be wonderful additions to my library.

Finally, I turned to the table that was marked 'Music,' and found a fabulous hardcovered book with 102 of Gilbert & Sullivan's songs from their operettas, complete with coloured illustrations and a synopsis of each operetta. What a treasure!!

The best part of all of this? I only spent $6.00!! On nine fantastic books!! Six dollars wouldn't even get me one Star Wars paperback at the bookstore!

Ahem... despite my good fortune, I do have nine more books to tote home, and while there is ample space on the new bookshelf, I do need to be careful of filling it up too quickly, lest I need to buy yet another bookshelf and take up even more of our precious wall space.

And so, I must avoid libraries... or at least libraries having book sales...

In Which Soaring Soprano Muses...

...about coffee.

You know, I was never addicted to coffee before college. I was proud of the fact that I didn't need it to stay awake, and I couldn't understand both my mother's and Husband's need to have it in order to feel properly awake. Sure, I'd have the occasional Mocha Frappuccino when I was feeling cool and artsy while browsing Barnes & Noble... okay, no. I just was having a chocolate craving and needed something quick to satisfy it.

Honestly, at that point I didn't even like the taste of coffee. It had to be thoroughly sweetened and had to have copious amounts of chocolate added for me to drink it and enjoy it.

But then my freshman year started last fall... and I was doomed.

It started innocently enough. One morning, after having been up until 3am writing a creative narrative for English 160, I knew I wasn't going to make it through a full day of school and work without something to keep me energized. So I stopped at a gas station on my way to my 8:30 Philosophy class and grabbed a danish and a French Vanilla cappuccino. (Yes, I know, those 'cappuccinos' dispensed from the little machine have no right to be called that, but oh well...)

Anyway, that was just the beginning, because I liked that French Vanilla anti-Cappuccino, and so whenever I had a late night, I found myself getting one the following morning. Increasingly, my definition of a 'late night' started to relax (although 2am is hardly early when you're getting up at 7am), and so I frequented the gas station more and more.

Then, I discovered Dunkin Donuts' 'Dunkaccino' one day when I stopped in for a quick bagel, and was instantly hooked. I mean, goodness! A mocha cappuccino!?! Delicious! And so, I became a frequent customer at the Donut shop...

Things didn't start to get hairy until the spring semester, however. Taking 19 credits, double majoring, and working full time was just way too much for me to tackle without some kind of artificial stimuli to keep my brain working at the necessary pace. Suddenly, a small Dunkaccino wasn't cutting it, so I started getting Mocha lattes. At this point I was stopping for coffee about 3 times a week, which really wasn't too bad.

However, April rapidly came upon me, complete with 12 finals, a research paper, Holy Week, and a multitude of concerts and competitions. Suddenly I had way more on my plate, requiring more energy, and Dunkin Donuts seemed to anticipate this need by making April the month of the .99 cent iced coffee. How perfect!

Alas and alack, my need for coffee grew to a daily necessity, and it was then that I was done for. Now, school having been out for a month and half, my schedule dramatically reduced to something more do-able and less superhuman, I still find myself stopping for that daily coffee (I don't think it helps that I've discovered that I like caramel coffee too...).

What brings me to reminisce on my path to coffee-dependence, you ask? Well, the simple fact that today I decided that I didn't have time to stop for one. And now it's only 1:30 in the afternoon, and I am tired, yawning like a sleep-deprived insomniac, with a tiredness behind my eyes that I cannot, will not tolerate. I know it's because I didn't get that coffee. Part of me wants to deprive myself, suffer though, try to beat the withdrawal symptoms... but there's also so much that needs to be done!! I need to work on revising my novel, answer business emails, do some data entry work, etc, etc... And I know, I just know, that I'll never get through it all without a proper pick-me up.

*sigh*

And so, defeated by the horrible coffee monster, Soaring Soprano is going off for a coffee run.

UPDATE: I am so glad that I went for the coffee run! On my way, I saw that a local music store was closing, so I stopped in to peruse the items they were selling. Blissfully, I found a copy of Schumann's Frauenliebe und Leben that I need for my concert this fall, as well as some other pieces I'd been looking for- all on sale!!! Providential, I say! Positively providential!

In Which Soaring Soprano Wonders...

... how many words she can cram into her head before tomorrow.

I'm currently cast in a Broadway Cabaret at a local theatre, but as with most Professional gigs in the area that I live, there's not much time for rehearsal at all. Our curtain goes up on Friday night, which means that tomorrow is dress rehearsal... and it's only our second rehearsal. The very first was Monday night, and we were told our basic blocking and were given the opportunity to run through our songs once with the accompanist.

I've five or six numbers to do myself, and thankfully I've done two of them before, but the others still need memorization and I really need to get comfortable with the music. I don't think I'll have trouble with most of them, but let me tell you, Many a New Day from 'Oklahoma!' is not only difficult, but annoying as well. It is wordy, and jumps all over the place, and...

Okay, I'll stop complaining. I did know what I was getting myself into when I accepted the job, and hey, I am getting paid, so it makes the trouble worthwhile, right?

In any case, I'm looking forward to having dinner tonight at my parents' house. I've not seen the kids in a few days, and our parish priest is coming as well. It should be a fun evening!

In Which Soaring Soprano Wishes...

...everyone a Blessed Feast Day!!

(For those of us in the Latin Rite, today is the External Solemnity of the Sacred Heart as well as the feast of St. Anthony of Padua.)

It's been rather warm and muggy here the past few days, and I picked yesterday to be the day to finally unpack the last of the boxes and move furniture around... ugh. It was HOT in our third floor apartment, and exerting that energy made it worse. But the office is now officially in order, and that new bookcase I had been talking about is now built and in place! It's nice to see empty shelf space, actually... it's like silent permission to recommence my book collecting activities.

I did break up all the busy-ness in the middle of the afternoon by settling down to watch the World Cup match between England and USA. Is it bad of me to say that I was cheering for England? I hope not, because, boy, did I cheer! And yell... and groan... and stomp my feet...

It was probably good that Husband was away, because he would have thought that I was seriously losing my mind over a soccer match. I mean, I wasn't really, but I couldn't help myself. Perhaps it's needless to say, but I'm more than a little miffed about the draw... USA shouldn't have gotten that goal... stupid bouncing soccer ball...

Anyway, Husband is back home now, having happily completed the Auriesville pilgrimage. He's got a few blisters, but he's not any worse for the wear, and I'm sure he's gained a multitude of graces, whereas I'm... just annoyed about a soccer game.

But, being that it's a high feast day (and we had a glorious Solemn High Mass today for it), I think it's only right to share a lovely prayer that's said on this day (or any day really, but it's fitting).

Act of Consecration of the Human Race to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

-Pope Pius XI-

Most sweet Jesus, Redeemer of the human race, look down upon us, humbly prostrate in Thy presence.

We are Thine and Thine we wish to be; but to be more surely united with Thee, behold each one of us freely consecrates himself today to Thy Most Sacred Heart.

Many, indeed, have never known Thee; many, too, despising Thy precepts, have rejected Thee.

Have mercy on them all, most merciful Jesus, and draw them to Thy Sacred Heart.

Be Thou King, O Lord, not only of the faithful who have never forsaken Thee, but also of the prodigal children who have abandoned Thee, grant that they may quickly return to their Father's house, lest they die of wretchedness and hunger.

Be Thou King of those who are deceived by erroneous opinions, or whom discord keeps aloof,

and call them back to the harbour of truth and unity of faith, so that soon there may be but one flock and one shepherd.

Be Thou King of all those who even now sit in the shadow of idolatry or Islam, and refuse not Thou to bring them into the light of Thy kingdom. Look, finally, with eyes of pity upon the children of that race, which was for so long a time Thy chosen people; and let Thy Blood, which was once invoked upon them in vengeance, now descend upon them also in a cleansing flood of redemption and eternal life.

Grant, O Lord, to Thy Church, assurance of freedom and immunity from harm; give peace and order to all nations, and make the earth resound from pole to pole with one cry: Praise to the Divine Heart that wrought our salvation: to it be glory and honour forever.

Amen.

In Which Soaring Soprano Says...

...nothing important.

The past few days have gone by without anything exceptionally exciting happening. And, as I feared, I found myself driving to work yesterday thinking about how I had nothing interesting to say on my Blog. Having caught my ego at work, I laughed heartily at myself and resolved to post despite my lack of important news to impart.

However, I just remembered that I do have some important news, although it may only be important to me and mine. I just found out that my dear Mother is expecting again, which means that I shall be a big sister again for the tenth time!

There was something slightly frightening about hearing the news, however. I realised that I'll have hit the quarter of a century mark by the time the baby's born, which means that by the time the baby is my age, I'll be the venerable age of fifty... not that there's anything wrong with that of course. It's just slightly odd thinking about having a sibling that could honestly pass as one of your own children.

I suppose it's a slightly vain train of thought, but I really couldn't help it. Honestly, I should be thinking of my poor parents, who will have unruly teenagers in their house until they're well beyond retirement age. Ah, but such is life I suppose.

Other than that, my husband's left me alone for a few days while he makes a trek to the Shrine of the North American Martyrs in Auriesville, NY. The SSPX is having a one day Pilgrimage to the site of St. Issac Jogues' and St. Rene Goupil's martyrdom, as they do every year about this time. So, Husband is heading up for the weekend, and I've got the house to myself for three days.

Dare I say that I'll enjoy it? Yes, I think I shall. Although, the dog will be with me too...

There's something wonderful about knowing that I'll have the bed to myself for a night or two. It's a guilty pleasure, but it'll be nice to not wake up at 4:30 am because the covers are all on the other side of the bed or because I've only 2 inches of mattress on which to lay. Let me tell you, poking him awake is not fun or easy at that time of the morning.

But that doesn't mean that I shan't miss him. On the contrary, I'll probably be counting down until he gets home. I just hope the plans that are keeping me from going with him will occupy me well enough until he returns...

EDIT: Oh! And Happy Feast of the Sacred Heart!

In Which Soaring Soprano Remembers...

... how much she loves St. Augustine.

Our pastor inserted this nice bit of spiritual reading into yesterday's bulletin. It's very fitting, and full of truth and pertinence, despite being almost two thousand years old. I suppose that says much about 1) the constancy of the inconstancy of human nature, and 2) the timelessness and universality of divine Wisdom.

I read a good portion of The Confessions of Saint Augustine for Theology class last semester, so for me the veracity of his words is underscored quite a bit, knowing that St. Augustine himself struggled greatly against concupiscence. There is a practicality here that is poignant in its simplistic delivery, and I can't help but to smile at the slightly sarcastic comment at the end.
It just seems to highlight the fact that St. Augustine was a man before becoming a saint, and a very human man at that. Who better to offer advice, than a man who found God despite his fallen nature, and through God and His grace, learned to overcome himself?

I think I'm going to have to go back and finish the Confessions...

Saint Augustine, ora pro nobis!

----

Chastity and Holy Communion


That you may not receive Holy Communion unto your own judgement, be careful to live justly... You who are married, keep faith with your wives. Do that which you demand of them. You as a husband demand chastity of your wife; teach this by example, not by mere talk. You are the leader; look where you are going. For you should not go where she may not follow without danger; more, the way in which you would have her walk, you ought also travel. It is of the weaker that you demand fortitude; though the concupiscence of the flesh is in you both. Let the one who is stronger, first obtain the mastery.

But it is a grievous thing that in this women surpass many men. Women observe the chastity men will not observe; and men desire to appear as men through not observing it; as though it was for this man was the stronger, that the enemy may the more easily overcome him. It is a struggle, a war, a battle. The man is stronger than the woman; the husband is the head of the wife (Eph. V 23). Your wife struggles, and overcomes; do you give in to the enemy? The body stands firm; but the head falls down?

You who are yet without wives, and who still come to the Lord's Table, and eat of the Flesh of Christ and drink of His Blood, if you intend to marry, preserve yourselves chaste for your wives. Such as you would have them come to you, such let them also find you.

What young man is there who does not wish to marry a chaste wife? And if he were to take to himself a virgin, who is there who would not desire that she should be undefiled? You seek for a pure wife; be yourself unstained. It is not as though she can be, but you cannot be. If it is impossible, then it is impossible for her. But since it is possible to her, then let this teach you that it can be done. And the Lord has a care for her, that she may do this.

Should you, however, also do this, you are the more to be honoured. Why the more to be honoured? Because in her case the vigilance of her parents protects her; the very modesty of the weaker is itself a restraint. And then she fears laws you do not fear. So if you do this you are the more to be honoured; for should you achieve this, it is because you fear God. She has much else to fear besides God; You have God alone to fear. But He you fear is greater than all others. He is to be feared in public; He is to be feared in private. Go out from your house; you are seen. Enter in; you are seen. The lamp shines; He sees you. You enter your room; He sees you. You reflect within your own heart; He sees you. Fear Him; for He hath care of you, that He may see you (I Pet. V. 7); and, fearing Him be chaste. Or else, if you wish to sin, seek a place where He cannot see you, and then do what you will.

St. Augustine - Homily for Corpus Christi

In Which Soaring Soprano Needs A New...

...bookcase. Seriously.

Today, I realised what dangerous places bookstores can be.

After a lovely lunch, I headed out to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of grabbing a tall Mocha Frappuccino and using the free wi-fi in an artsy environment (I find it helps me to write better... plus the air conditioning was nice on such a hot day...).

So, I arrived with my laptop bag slung over my shoulder, and resolutely stepped through the doors, fully intending to march directly to the cafe.

However, as the doors swung open to admit me into the cool, well-lit, comfy place that is our local Barnes & Noble Booksellers, I was attacked. My fellow bibliophiles will know what I mean when I say that I was suddenly assaulted by the irresistible scent of new books. There's something magnetic about the aroma of crisp, freshly printed, unread pages, and I found my pace slowing as my eyes gazed lovingly at the rows of delectable reading material.

I knew my fate was sealed when my gaze settled upon a table placed strategically by the doors. There, stacked in gleaming, glossy-jacketed, hard-covered glory, were numerous copies of a new book I had been wanting. And to top it off, an inviting little sign announced that the book was 40% off with a Member card (which I have).

I was mentally salivating.

I reached for and reverently picked up a copy, enjoying the feel of the slick cover beneath my fingers. I flipped gently through the pages, the distinct perfume of Eau d'new book wafting around me as the firm, turning pages fanned it about. I looked inside the dust jacket and found the price neatly printed on the upper corner... $13.99...

I immediately placed the book back on the table, one part of me foolishly trying to convince the other that it was too much to spend right now.

But the crazed book lover in me was too strong for that brief moment of self-control.

I hadn't taken more than two steps away from the table, before I turned back, snatched up a copy of the book and walked just as resolutely to the checkout counter.

I'm not sorry I made the purchase, but I sigh now as I realise two important things:

1) That I have a hopeless addiction for new books, and I cannot be trusted to walk into a bookstore without buying at least one book, no matter how determined I may be to the contrary.

2) I really need a new bookcase... Somehow I manage to convince myself that I can squeeze one more book on my already overfilled shelves, but this time there'll be no squeezing...

I suppose my next trip will be to the furniture store... Maybe they'll be having a 40% off sale, too?

A New Blog...

... but not new to blogging, however.

This is going to be my attempt at keeping a semi-personal blog, recounting life's joys and difficulties (hopefully the former will outnumber the latter), and the daily (but joyful) struggle to live in the world as a Roman Catholic.

The tricky thing I've found about blogging in the past is that I always want to write something pithy and profound, rather than commonplace and cliche, and so unless I had something "great" to post, I wouldn't post at all. I'm going to try and not let that happen this time, because I'm starting to learn that some of the greatest and most profound things are found in the commonplace events of every day life... we just need to remember to keep an eye out for them.

Today, unfortunately, I haven't been on the look-out much, but I plan to be in the future!

And don't worry, this blog won't all be boring and sentimental... I am a pretty random and eclectic person. I love everything from Renaissance polyphony to Coldplay, playing timpani to playing Zelda, reading Jane Austen to reading (and writing) Star Wars fan fiction [some of which I hope to share here]. I think it promises to be a fun and interesting ride... provided I post here on a regular basis!